You need to have strong conversational skills to get to date number two. Is he addicted to fair trade coffee? If you were famous, would you still want a relationship or would you sleep around? Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl? What is something you wish you did more of in your life and something you wish you did less of? What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened t Share a funny story at your own expense first. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Find out which camp your date belongs in—and then you can admit if you read restaurant reviews before making date reservations. Food is always a safe topic of conversation—and an endless one, too. It's like an interview, filled with nervous laughter, weird lulls in conversation and at times, grasping at straws for topics to extend the date. One major exception to this rule is if the two of you find something you can mutually complain about, such as a political view opposing one that you share in common, but you still want to take care not to look overly negative.
Family Background You may have had a terrible family upbringing. Is there anyone in this world that you genuinly hate? Save some mystery for the second and third dates. Ask her what her yearbook quote was. Four things never to ask her or him about on a first date? But you'll also be able to reign in any bad habits that might prevent you from nabbing a second date. If you were going to go to the movies alone, what would be the perfect film for you to watch by yourself? Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol? In one sentence what is your biggest concern right now? If you had no fears, what would be the first thing you would do? What talent do you wish you had? Were Ross and Rachel on a break? Negative Nancy Nobody likes a negative Nancy — not even Nancy herself. What fact about you surprises people the most? Goals At some point you are going to want to delve a little deeper and address some slightly more meaningful topics. Do you have any specialty cooking dishes? Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth.
Which has a higher spot in your priority — relationship or career? You'll see early on whether you'll clash. This is a fun way to pick her brain and get her talking about what her interests and passions are. What would you do if I just start crying and screaming right now? This will allow you two to have a little bit of fun with each other while still learning something useful. If not, do you believe they exist? What's been the most significant or best year of your life so far? Which Disney villain would you play tetherball with? The ability to see the good in everything not only makes your life easier, it gives a spring in your step and adds to your charm. Politics, religion, exes, and salary. Do you have any hidden talents? Does she only watch educational shows? If you could start a band, what kind would it be and would you name it? Do you have a special place you like to visit regularly? If you could live in any fantasy world, be it Hogwarts or Narnia, where would you choose? Would you rather live forever or die tomorrow? But you do want the assurance that the individual has insight into his or her family background and has sought to address lingering wounds and unhealthy patterns. His or her list could include travel plans, career goals, personal milestones, or adrenaline-junkie adventures.
Secrets Don't share your deepest, darkest secrets with someone you've just met: He or she simply hasn't earned your trust yet. What is your favorite thing to cook? If you could trade lives with one person for an entire day who would it be and why? What do you like most about living here? Would you choose to live forever if you had the opportunity? Indulge Yourself Forget about your diet at least one day in a week and treat yourself to some creamy Belgian dark chocolate ice cream. What do you feel most passionate about? What was your favorite year and why? Even if she's feeling the same way, this may scare her off since it displays a poor understanding of boundaries and the proper timeline for a healthy relationship's development. Have you tried suppressing your emotions? To be successful with your dating conversation, know how to stimulate meaningful talks without veering into awkward or uncomfortable territory. Save this stuff for your Pinterest boards, not your first date. But some people, over-eager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. This will This is something you can talk about only after a significant amount of time has passed.
Have you traveled anywhere really cool lately? What is a piece of advice that you were given that if you listened to it, you would not be where you are today? Do you consider yourself spontaneous, or a planner? Generally speaking, try to avoid complaining to your date about much of anything until you've gained a certain degree of rapport. You'll get major insight on her goals and priorities in life. So for those who are going on a first date, Jelena Jovanovic of All Women Stalk lists several interesting suggestions to discuss: 1. . Be Able to Laugh at Yourself Whether you have spinach in your teeth or whether you fell down the stairs, if you stop and think about it, it is funny. Who was your hero when you were a little kid? A little banter is a good sign that your humor is in sync.
And ask what she's most afraid of in life: Is she afraid of failing in her job, never getting the opportunity to travel, mending a particular relationship? These are just some general second date conversation topics to make you a little more confident when chatting him up! If you were stranded on an island, what is one item you would take with you? Like the previous question, this one clues you in on how she spends most of her time and whether you'll enjoy the same activities. What was your favorite family vacation growing up? Sharing random facts and stories with each other is a good way to get to know each other on a different level. Your future dates depend on it. Is he only working part time so that he can earn a degree? Ask about his favorite movies, cuisine, music, celebrity, pet, book, and so on. Yes, this is a popular first-date question, but for good reason. You'll also get a peek into family traditions and dynamics. In the right context, though, it can let her clear the air or dispel any frustrating assumptions people make about her.
What is your favorite dish to cook? Who is the closest person to you and why? Unless she moved around a lot as a kid this should spark questions, too , asking whether she still talks to friends from childhood will reveal how she values relationships and loyalty. Where is your favorite place to go on a weekday afternoon when you have no plans or obligations? Where would you go if the zombie apocalypse happened right this second? Then sit silent and wait for their answer. Not only does it give you a mood booster but it makes you look more approachable and not intimidating in the least, so people will be more open to coming up to you. It should come naturally and with a flow. You'll get her laughing with this one. Hobbies If your date loves ice skating, diving with sharks or baking cupcakes, this is valuable information that you want to get out of her.
If her best friend is someone she grew up with or someone she's close with because of a particular incidence good or bad , ask her about it. But if you met on a dating app, that's one common experience to bond——over right there. How did they overcome or survive the struggle? From there the conversation can lead more generally into her family background, such as where she grew up and whether her parents are still together. What is a misconception others often have about you? Do you consider yourself career-driven? Lauren Naefe Follow the guidelines below, and put your best foot forward. It can also open the idea of trying something new together—like cooking—on a second date. And if she doesn't care, then you can decide whether it's a slight turn off or a deal breaker.